by Caitlin Bitzegaio. @caitorade.
Competition for admission to top tier drama schools is fiercer than ever. And that’s why you didn’t get in! That’s okay! You can still imply you attended your college’s prestigious drama school, even though you were really an English major in a totally different department in a totally different building.
1. If Someone Assumes You Earned A BFA, Don’t Correct Them!
When you name drop your college, don’t get bogged down in correcting minor details, like the fact you could never even sniff the drama department’s standards.
Use this easy script:
THEM: “You went to Carnegie Mellon! They have an amazing musical theatre program!”
YOU: “Right?”
See how easy that was? You didn’t even have to lie. You did go to Carnegie Mellon and they do have an amazing musical theatre program. Nevermind the fact that you were not in their production of Chess and were in fact drunk in a Steelers bar for the majority of your four years on campus.
2. Complain About The Audition Process, Ignore That You Were Rejected
Commiserate with other actors about the college audition process, because after all: it was stressful! The National Unified Auditions were a wild time. When others talk about the relief of receiving their admission letter, just quote something from Persuasion to comfort yourself because, as an English major, you’ve had the chance to read all of Jane Austen’s novels, not just the good ones!
3. Pretend You Were TOO Into Drama To Know the Name of Even One Drama Classmate
Uh-oh! Someone else in the audition waiting room went to University of Michigan and actually was in the drama program and they want to find people in common. This is a stressful situation, but remember, you’re dealing with a drama major. You can make them insecure quickly; it’s actually how they’re most comfortable. Act like you were too busy being cast to know anyone. This makes no sense, but if said confidently, it should scare any drama major. Casually get up and say “it’s nice you made friends though.”
4. Never, Ever Say “Did You Know Julia Garner’s Degree Is Actually In Psychology?”
Yes, Emmy winner Julia Garner did not get a BFA from Indiana University and actually studied Psychology, but why do you know that? Bringing that up is a red flag that you may also not have a theatre degree. It’s honestly weird you know that.