by Edward Precht. @pertoltprecht.
NEW YORK, NY - Rumors and romance swung through the Great White Way last night after paparazzi snapped a pic of the King Kong Puppet - last seen as the titular role in the much-maligned King Kong musical - canoodling with the Audrey II Puppet - now starring in the Westside Theater’s revival of Little Shop of Horrors - in a booth at Westway Diner, sources have confirmed.
“They’re absolutely smitten with one another,” said an insider close to the pair. “Ever since their first date, they haven’t been able to keep their hands to themselves. Or, their ‘giant paws’ and ‘root-like tendrils,’ I guess. Or, um, or…. or ‘human-controlled giant paws and root-like tendrils.’ I don’t know,” she added.
According to several sources, the two were seen laughing and talking for hours, enjoying Westway’s famous cheesecake and some light PDA. The King Kong Puppet (or ‘KKP,’ as he’s known in his circle of friends) spent much of the evening “gazing into the spaces where the Audrey II Puppet’s eyes should be.”
This may come as a shock to fans of the King Kong Puppet, who were aware of his long-term relationship with the Giant Fuckin’ Snake Puppet, who shared a stage with him - and a sexually-tense fight scene - in King Kong. The two were said to have a tumultuous relationship that did not end amicably.
“People fall in and out of love all the time,” said a representative of the gorilla. “Same can be said for puppets. What he and the Giant Fuckin’ Snake Puppet had was special, but it was a showmance, nothing more. KKP is ready to move on.”
The Giant Fuckin’ Snake Puppet has not yet publically commented on the situation, but as of this morning has both deleted her Twitter account and posted a suggestive Instagram pic of herself and the War Horse Puppet.
The Broadway Beat dug up the dirt on a more personal aspect of their relationship.
“Sex? Yeah, it’s confusing,” said another insider, who specifically asked to remain anonymous. “I mean, there’s like twenty puppeteers total, so it’s just kind of a lot of moving parts and stumbling in the dark. The only one of us who really seems to enjoy it is Vinny [who controls Kong’s penis], but he’s a little, um... we don’t really hang out with him,” they added.
Neither of the pair has reached out to comment, though they did release a joint statement promoting the Audrey II Puppet’s Off-Broadway debut and the King Kong Puppet’s upcoming guest spot on season three of Succession, where he’ll be playing a giant ape that really spells trouble for the entire Roy clan.