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  • Writer's pictureBroadway Beat

What’s the Right Distance from the Theater to Start Eviscerating the Show? Experts Weigh In

by Emily Drossell. @emily_drossell.

So you’ve just seen a show and hated it with every fiber of your being. You may be wondering, when (and how close to the “art” itself) can I let my vitriolic tirade loose? Well you’re in luck! We sat down with three experts to walk you through your options.

“A couple of blocks away is common courtesy. You don’t want anyone’s feelings to be hurt,” said casting director Justice Moss while writing “yikes!” on a person’s headshot. “And if you really can’t contain yourself while in the theater, just give your friend in the seat next to you a nudge. God gave us eyes to see, ears to hear, and elbows to silently judge theatre.”

Max Austin, actor and longtime recipient of the phrase “you’re whispering so loud,” offered up another perspective.

“Don’t be a coward. We’re all theater people! No one’s going to mind hearing a bit of critique in the lobby,” Austin said while blocking his friend who said Austin’s self-tape was “fine.” “Feedback is what makes us get better. And I know if I were coming out of that stagedoor, I’d having nothing but gratitude for the unemployed actor loudly dissecting every moment of my performance.”

After much protestations, socially anxious writer Lauren Ryan reluctantly shared her thoughts on the matter.

“You have to be at least 10 blocks away. It only makes sense.” said Ryan while nervously darting her head back and forth. “Then again, you don’t want to go too far away so that you end up on a subway with someone in the production. And do you ever fully know what your neighbors are doing eight times a week? Better just to bite your tongue and throw around some thumbs-ups between the theater and your apartment.”

So there you have it! But no matter what distance you choose, we over at The Broadway Beat think it’s probably not such a big deal if someone overhears your blistering critiques. Except you. You know who you are. Telsey definitely heard you talk shit, so good luck booking with them.


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