by Alec Brown. @brownta3.
NEW YORK, NY - Producers of the long-running Broadway musical Chicago announced today that they’re updating the show’s famous slogan, “Broadway’s Sure Thing”, to a more accurate depiction of the show in 2019, as “Broadway's Sure, I Guess We Can See It, No Seriously It’s Fine, Thing”, sources have confirmed.
“I think it’s way more honest to what our customer base is thinking when they buy tickets to the show,” said Marketing Strategist Tiffany Hunt. “I actually got the idea to lean into the negative product association from watching the Pepsi Super Bowl commercial where Cardi B was like ‘Is Pepsi Okurrrrrr?’. It really got me thinking, ‘is Chicago the Musical ok?’, and the answer is definitely ‘yes, Chicago the Musical is ok’” she added.
The Chicago Show Gals of Time Square have been testing the new slogan on tourists as they pass out flyers.
“Their new slogan really hits the nail on the head”, noted Rebecca Oswald, visiting from Minnesota with her two children and boyfriend, Tim. “We couldn’t get tickets to Hamilton, Dear Evan Hansen, Hadestown or literally anything else on Broadway except for Chicago, which definitely isn’t bad. I mean, it’s not really thrilling, but not terrible either. Like, it’s fine,” she added.
Producers have also changed elements of the production itself to match the updated branding.
“We had to rename ‘All That Jazz’ to ‘Fully Satisfying Even If Not Particularly Exciting Jazz’, just to temper expectations,” noted composer John Kander. “We’re kind of like a premade cafe salad - we’ll fill you up, we’ll give you what you need, and nobody can say you didn’t eat lunch, but are you really gonna talk about it at dinner? That’s the kind of vibe our new marketing is really nailing,” he added.
At press time, Chicago has seen a sharp rise in positive Yelp reviews due to the honesty of their new campaign.
Other shows have decided to follow suit, such as Aaron Sorkin’s To Kill a Mockingbird, which boasts “It’s Not Jeff Daniels But You’ll Still Get The Idea”, and Phantom of the Opera, which unveiled its new slogan “The Chandelier’s Rope Has Been Fraying for Years. Will You Be In The Audience When It Falls? Come Find Out!”