Neat! This Blog Recipe Doubles as a Lengthy Dramatic Monologue

by Alix Markman. @markwoman.

APPLETON, WI. – A recent blog recipe posted by self-described theatre artist/spiritual advisor/content culinarian Katrina “Kat” Jenkins conveniently doubles as a dramatic audition monologue.

“This recipe only requires three ingredients,” begins Jenkins, in a suspenseful tone that promises readers the story will contain far more than just three ingredients. “I was inspired to create it during a whirlwind trip to Tahiti in 2013, which I took to recover from a deeply traumatic breakup with my love of seven-and-a-half weeks…”

Grayson Hennessey, an AMDA grad currently directing a community production of Waitress, was not quite as enthused about the monologue when Jenkins used it for her audition.

“I figured she picked it because, you know, the show is set in a diner, but she just kept droning on and on,” said Hennessey, a man known for his three-hour post-rehearsal notes sessions. “It took her like eight minutes just to even get to the list of ingredients. Also, what does Tahiti have to do with a recipe for microwavable mug cake?”

Fellow auditioner and serial recipe bookmarker Lisa Tomlinson, on the other hand, found the monologue deeply affecting.

“When I overheard her audition, I was hoping to come out of it with a yummy treat to make myself when I got home. But I was just so moved by the story,” says Tomlinson, who was seen intently annotating a printout of the recipe. “I mean, I spent three weeks practicing Juliet’s potion monologue from Romeo & Juliet. But honestly, how do you follow that?!”

Jenkins’ recipe/monologue runs an impressive eight-and-three-quarter pages when printed, with the actual ingredient list hidden somewhere between pages six and seven. The text contains many wild twists and a complete character arc, taking the reader/audience/person desperately just trying to make a stupid mug cake on a thrilling adventure of love, heartbreak, and ingredient substitutions.

At press time, Jenkins shared that she had been cast in Waitress as “Diner Girl #4”, in the middle of a newly posted recipe for tacos.