by Ricky Drummond. @RickyDDrummond.
NEW YORK, NY - The actors currently playing the role of Beetlejuice on Broadway, who asked not to be named because their moms might read this, revealed their big secret to keeping their energy up for eight performances a week: the coke in that opening number is real.
“At first, I tried working out every day, eating healthy, warming up for 90 minutes: pretty much everything my professors at UNCSA told me to do,” noted one actor, while stocking up for the next week’s shows in an alley behind Phantom of the Opera. "One day, I woke up really late and almost missed my call. Luckily I still had a dimebag in my back pocket and, well, the rest is history.”
Another actor, who asked not to be named specifically because the CIA was listening, went on to expand how this new technique has helped more than just energy.
“I used to have awful stage fright. I would go out there, sweating through my costume. I would black out most of the show, and before I knew it I was taking my bow at curtain call,” said the actor while browsing Grindr during a quick change. “Now it’s basically the same, except I'm not nervous. I know what’s waiting for me on measure 169.”
Production Stage Manager John Manthram noted that the choice has had other positive impacts on the musical.
“The show used to run about two hours and thirty minutes. We’d get out of the theatre around 11PM, and I would get home close to midnight,” said Manthram while giving the cast a half hour notice five minutes before curtain. “Now, Act One runs about 40 minutes, Act Two runs about 15, and I’m home watching Drag Race reruns by 9:30!”
A third actor portraying Beetlejuice, who asked not to be named because he was “being actively chased by a nine-foot tall sentient trash can”, said other leading actors had reached out to him since hearing about his trick. Among them were the Genie in Aladdin, the cast of Stomp, and that tenor in Wicked who has to hit a high-C all the time.