LONDON - Following the controversy surrounding his note at yesterday’s Cinderella closing - in which he called the production a “costly mistake” - theatre legend Andrew Lloyd Webber was quick to issue a followup statement, clarifying that he also feels the show’s cast & crew are very, very ugly.
“I apologize for my words being taken out of context. The last thing I want is to leave anyone feeling unclear or uneasy regarding my view on this production. I promise, from the bottom of my heart, that I meant to say the show was a costly mistake and full of freakin’ uggos,” noted Webber, who insisted yesterday’s audience return to the theater to hear the message. “I’m incredibly proud of this gross, stinky, wholly unlikable team. No, not team - gross, stinky, wholly unlikeable family.”
At press time, Webber was seen purchasing toilet paper in mass quantities, as well as printing directions to the homes of every single person involved in the production. He stated that he plans to “teepee those 0’s houses, hopefully covering the windows so nobody has to see their mugs, and also they’re so talented by the way.”