by Grant Cleaveland. @cleaveland_g.
NEW YORK, NY - Production for a musical adaptation of the canine classic film Air Bud came to a grinding halt last week when the team discovered their lead actor died over two decades ago, sources confirmed.
“We all thought this was going to be a career defining show for us,” Ronda told us while thumbing the classifieds for a golden retriever with Steph Curry-tier ball handling. “Everything was running smoothly in pre-production until the first day of rehearsal. That was a complete disaster. The entire cast is there; Danny Burstein as Air Buddy’s ex-owner, Rachel Chavkin directing. We’re all at the table ready for a read-through, then it hits me: where the fuck is the dog?”
Lysander Pisani, the production’s dramaturg and more of a cat person, admits this whole situation might be his fault.
“I sent that dog dozens of emails,” Lysander claimed while sweating through his grey t-shirt. “I thought 'maybe he’s just not tech-savvy... oops. The shit really hit the fan when I had to announce to everyone why Air Buddy wouldn’t be joining the production. The cast was mostly child actors, and let me tell ya, they were NOT ready to face their pet’s mortalities.”
Norm Garland, the show’s producer and main benefactor, was not amused by this kooky mix-up.
“Twelve MILLION dollars,” Garland kept repeating while frantically packing a suitcase. “That’s how much I sunk into this show, and it’s all down the drain because our lead actor had to be a diva and die in 1998. Plus my kid was in the ensemble, and she hasn’t been the same since. I’m pretty sure she realizes her old pet Fifi isn’t at a hamster farm upstate.”
Production for Air Bud: The Musical has been halted indefinitely, which is another bone-headed move from the production team considering the Air Bud franchise has been using different golden retrievers for decades.