by Catherine Weingarten. @sarahkaneissexy.
NEW YORK, NY - In our feel-good story of the week, local actor Hudson Johansburg finally made his parents proud by playing a doctor in a new play about frontline workers, relieved sources confirmed.
“I’ve been a working actor for around ten years now,” said Johansburg, wearing a shirt that says "Essential Worker…if you believe performance is essential.” “Usually my parents tend to block my calls and Facebook comment on my upcoming shows event pages that they’re 'super busy Christmas decorating', even though it’s April. But when they saw my new show where I play a very helpful doctor, they told me they finally knew what it felt like to be proud of one’s child.”
The Johansburgs, both wearing homemade sweaters featuring an image of Hudson in his show costume, were happy to comment on the story.
“When we found out our son wanted to give his life up to be a bartender and perform every once in a while, we both went into a dark depression,” said Mrs. Johansburg, graffitiing her son’s copy of An Actor Prepares. “But with this role, we tried hard to pretend he wasn't an actor and just focused on him onstage as a doctor. It truly was a healing experience. We’re hoping he now wants to heal others by actually pursuing medicine.”
Local doctor and audience member Dr. Hamsworthy, who wears a stethoscope in public, shared a very different take.
“I think that Hudson did an awful job as a doctor. He kept using the stethoscope backward and, at one point, tried to pummel another cast member who was playing his patient,” said Dr. Hamsworhty, pointing to the stethoscope in case we didn't see it. “I truly believe we as doctors deserve better representation onstage, and also, a doctor would never hardcore makeout with a patient while someone was dying nearby.”
At press time, Hudson and his parents were walking through local hospitals pretending Hudson worked there. When he tried to save a child hyperventilating by throwing stuff at her, he was promptly kicked out.