by Marissa Hecker.
NEW YORK, NY - Unemployed actor Josh Snyder received an official notice today from the Internal Revenue Service, stating he could be fined up to $10,000 for attempting to write off an exuberant number of Uber rides to Pearl Studios in 2019, sources confirmed.
“It doesn’t make sense,” lamented Snyder, who paced around his five-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment in Washington Heights. “I know so many actors who write off business expenses. Between dance classes, audition outfits, anal waxes, and voice lessons, payment adds up quickly. My parents are only paying half of my rent this year, so I have to keep track of how much I spend on my craft - which, in this case, is mostly Ubers to Pearl.”
Benjamin Hunter, one of Snyder’s four roommates, claims to know the truth behind the young man's “business expenses”.
“I reported him to the IRS,” Hunter confided, unprompted. “I would ask him to sign me up for auditions, but he would always forget or pretend he ‘lost the list’. Nothing but lies. And it’s so awkward when we both get cut and are both going home, but he hops into a luxury vehicle while I take the A. This was the punishment he deserved,” he added before asking us not to snitch, since Snyder is the apartment’s leaseholder.
The Broadway Beat caught up with Theresa DeBose, shift manager at Pearl Studios, for her take on Snyder’s cheating of the American tax system.
“That kid who gets out of a car every morning? Yeah, I’ve seen him,” noted DeBose. “He cruises down 8th Avenue just in time for the building to open while everyone is lined up outside, freezing their butts off. Does he really think swooping in carrying a large iced coffee counts as a tax deduction?” DeBose did not scan a single id while this interview took place.
At press time, Snyder was seen preparing for his court date by meeting with the lawyer that his parents hired to defend him.
“As an actor, I can project against a jury. If my spin class doesn’t interfere with the trial, everything should be fine.”
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