Actor Who Booked Work During Pandemic Running Out of Ways to Flaunt It
by Isaac Leer. @Isaacleer.
NEW YORK, NY - Local actor Michael Becker, who recently booked a commercial during the pandemic, is running out of fresh ideas for ways to flaunt his achievement to his non-working peers, several actor friends confirm.
“I just want each of my 983 followers to know that I’m thriving,” Becker said upon being approached for comment while leaving a liquor store at 4 a.m. “Besides, it’s not everyday you get to play ‘happy mid-twenties customer’ in a pillow commercial.”
Becker’s friend and fellow actor Seth Snyder did not share the same level of enthusiasm for his pal's big role.
“His social media is getting out of hand,” complained Snyder while scrolling aggressively through one of his own four Instagram accounts. “There’s only so many #booked or #setlife hashtags I can take. He also hung up on me last night because he was ‘emotionally taxed’ and needed to ‘regenerate’ after the shoot. For a pillow commercial? You literally rest during the shoot!”
Becker was also recently cast in an online play reading, and has been ‘preparing’ by yodeling each morning and speaking in an offensive British accent to everyone he meets - all on a continuous Instagram livestream. Castmates confirmed the choice was “a little weird” considering they’re doing All My Sons.
Overwhelmed with his busy schedule, Becker hired a personal assistant last week, whom he calls “Sugar.”
“Mr. Becker is doing better than ever,” said Sugar while juggling a bowl of peeled grapes and a venti hot water from Starbucks. “He’s thinking of starting a podcast so he can inspire young people with his success story, and share some juicy industry secrets. Sir Becker is also working on his autobiography, but he’s been so busy with actor stuff recently that it's hard for him to find time. But, like he always says, that’s just the price of success, Sugar!”
Becker’s self-produced sex tape is expected to be released later this week.