Lamest 21st Birthday Party Ever? WICKED Cast Just Performs the Show Stone-Cold Fucking Sober
- Broadway Beat
- Oct 26, 2024
- 1 min read
by Reilly Wilmit. @Reilly.Wilmit.
NEW YORK, NY - The Broadway Beat correspondents went behind the emerald curtain to bring our readers an exclusive glimpse of Wicked’s 21st anniversary extravaganza, and we regret to inform you that it was the lamest fucking 21st birthday we’ve ever been to.
We pre-gamed HARD prior to the October 30th show. We’re talking Ozmopolitons, Ozpresso martinis, and several shots of green liquid we’re 90% sure was just rubbing alcohol with food coloring.
The 21st anniversary cast of Wicked did NOT match our energy. Their diction was perfect, and if we had to bet, we’re pretty sure every single one of them could recite the alphabet backwards. Even Doctor Dillamond refused the little green bottle we offered him during "Something Bad", and we KNOW that goat is a freak.
We asked the actress playing Glinda to comment on why her and her castmates were such lame narc babies.
“What the fuck? How the fuck did you get backstage?!”
Although we did not find the rager we were anticipating, we at The Broadway Beat also found no shortage of hypocrisy.
Apparently when Elphaba sings "Defying Gravity," it is “an iconic musical moment.” But when we run on stage and scream “I’m so fucking high right now! I actually don't like this!” it means we’re “scaring Stephen Schwartz” and are “permanently banned from the Gershwin.” Happy birthday, losers.
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