Tourist Confuses SIX for Dinner Theatre After Being Told the Cast “Ate”, "Served", and “Feasted"
by Jonathan Hogue. @jthogue2.
NEW YORK, NY – New Jersey tourist Carl Peterson is demanding a refund from the producers of Broadway’s hit musical SIX after alleging that he was misled to believe his premium tickets included a six-course meal.
“This flamboyant guy in Times Square told us the actresses were ‘serving’ and ‘feasting’ on stage,” claimed Peterson, clad in a well-worn "Women Want Me, Fish Fear Me" t-shirt. “So my brain said it must be one of those dinner shows. And you know, my son’s into all that theatre stuff. Plus I had only eaten one of those New York bagels that day... so I was hungry.”
Peterson, a recent divorcee who brought along his 14-year-old son Tyler, was disturbed to find no table seating when he arrived at the Lena Horne Theatre for the February 4th matinee, and reportedly heckled an usher to place him at a “ringside seat."
“The man kept demanding a menu, stating that he paid premium prices so he could get his goblet of beer and giant turkey leg,” remarked Head Usher Tiffany Mallet, who is currently looking for a new job. “Clearly he thought he was at Medieval Times.”
While the box office staff declined Peterson’s refund request several times, Peterson acknowledges that he enjoyed the performance. He thought "those girls were pretty good," and that one of the cast members even sounded "kinda like that chick from The Voice."
His son Tyler, whose favorite film is said to be Priscilla Queen of the Desert, appeared to have enjoyed it most.
“Omigod mother absolutely ATE - like, choke me sis, I’m gagged."
Carl Peterson, confused by Tyler’s mention of actresses eating despite the absence of on-stage food, was seen searching through the Duolingo app after hearing his son yell “slay the house down boots."
Following the performance, Peterson satisfied his hunger with Jambalaya Crab Cakes and a 22 oz Spicy Mango Margarita at Bubba Gump Shrimp.
“I’m just glad I got to have a good weekend with my son. I know someday he’ll make great memories when he takes his wife and kids to visit the Big Apple.”
Tyler Peterson declined to comment.