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  • Writer's pictureBroadway Beat

Insecure Theatre Kid Assumed “Dramaturge” Was Some Kind of Insult to Be Honest

by Luke Maynus. @luke.maynus (Instagram).

TOPEKA, Kan. - It is no secret that within public high schools, theatre kids historically rank low on the social hierarchy - leading one local theatre kid to just assume a well-meaning sophomore asking if they were a dramaturge was an insult.

“Whaaaat? No way, definitely not me! I’m not one of those freaks who dance and sing and have fun and are emotionally open and honest and vulnerable with each other; cultivating the only safe space in the cacophony of vitriol that is high school!” denied Will Gilligan, letting his insecurities keep him from living his best life. “That’s a good insult though! What’s that like, a combination of turd and scourge?”

Fellow Topeka High Sophomore, Dave Matthew, admitted to being the one to accidentally insult Gilligan.

“I really didn’t mean to insult him, I was genuinely asking. I just know he’s into doing the plays and he likes history. Isn’t that basically dramaturgy?” inquired Matthew, shutting down after his first attempt at meaningful human connection ended in catastrophic failure. “I would never make fun of him, I mean, I’m in band. I’m hardly one to talk.”

Danny O' Connor, another - cooler - sophomore at Topeka High School, was happy to provide us an outside perspective on the controversy.

“Yeah both those guys are dweebs,” explained the bad boy in between drags of a nearly depleted vape. “Will’s a theatre freak and a history nerd? C’mon man, pick a struggle. And Dave Matthew’s name is Dave Matthew. You know how hard that’s gotta be to Google?”

Despite Matthew’s attempts at resolving the situation, it appears the school’s administration will be getting involved. Gilligan has apparently reported a threat of violence to the principal following an incident where Matthew told him to “break a leg” at the opening night of his upcoming play.

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