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  • Writer's pictureBroadway Beat

Top Theatre Donor Discovers Perfect Juliet in Own Granddaughter

by Conor Moroney. @conorseamusactor.



NEW YORK, NY – Gordon Mueller, one of the top donors for Supercilious Theatre Company, has discovered the perfect actor to play the female lead in Supercilious’ upcoming production of Romeo & Juliet: his granddaughter Emilia.


“It just came to me like a Sweeney epiphany,” Mr. Mueller said, eating a seedless sesame seed bagel from his favorite cafe. “As I was writing my check to the organization, I asked the artistic director who the leads were. He had some names - but then it dawned on me that my darling Emilia would be just perfect, and before I knew it she was cast! It’s my genius intuition for the creative process that has gotten my name on concession stands, rows of chairs, and buildings throughout the Northeast.”


Emilia Mueller recalled her gaining the covetous role in for the insolvent Off-off Broadway company.


“PaPaw called and told me I should, like, go out for Juliet '' Ms. Mueller said, exiting her West Village brownstone carrying her “Eat the Rich '' tote bag. “I told him that I missed the EPA sign up and he said ‘Don’t worry about it.’ So I got an invitation to the callback and, like, only read one side. The next day I got the offer. PaPaw certainly has a well-to-do mindset when it comes to theatre.”


Lucas Earlman, Supercilious Theatre Company’s Artistic Director, Head of Development, and Food & Beverage Coordinator, shared his excitement at the sudden casting at the suggestion of his bombastic benefactor.


“I had thought of a few names for callbacks but they were just missing the mark,” Earlman said, riding his new conceptual mechanical bull. “When Gordon told me ‘I really think you should take a look at my granddaughter Emilia’ I said ‘absolutely’ since he has always had Supercilious’ best interest at heart. Emilia will be an invaluable part of this production and ensure that we will always be able to afford my end-of-year bonus.”


This is, of course, not the only discovery in which Mr. Mueller has been responsible. He has kindly kept the lights on at The Broadway Beat for the past thirty years.

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