Local Man Starting to Suspect OH, MARY! Broadway Engagement Not Actually Strictly Limited

 by Ben Schrager. Instagram: @ben.schrager. Bluesky: @benschrager.bsky.social.

NEW YORK, NY - Upon hearing the news that Maya Rudolph will take over the title role in Oh, Mary!, local man and person who has anxiety about putting a comma right next to an exclamation point, Harold Freidenreich, began to suspect that the show’s Broadway engagement is not actually strictly limited.

“I’ve read the show’s Broadway press release from 2024 over and over: it said it was coming for a strictly limited 12 week engagement, and it’s currently on sale through the end of 2026,” said Freidenriech, while hurling calendars across a credenza. “Do you know how many weeks are in two years? I’ve counted, and it’s more than 12. Like, it’s at least 40. Which is way more than 12. Why would they lie to us?”

Freidenreich is planning to file a lawsuit against the production for emotional and fiscal damages.

“My client’s case is very serious, and if there’s one thing my name is synonymous with, it’s seriousness,” said Eugene Tittycakes, Esquire. “Mr. Freidenreich has lost sleep, work, and fluids obsessing over the blatant lie these producers spun to him and to the public, and he demands bratty-curled justice. This is not a frivolous cash grab. By the way, I once represented someone who sued Playwrights Horizons for discriminating against white people.”

Cole Escola, the creator and original star of the show, denies any wrongdoing.

“Has this motherfucker never heard of advertising?” asked Escola, while shotgunning a Keystone Light and crushing it on their head. “If this pissant tries to take us to court, I will crush him with the full force of Amy Sedaris’ legal team. His children will curse his name. He’ll regret ever locking horns with the reigning God-head of the Queer Alternative Comedy scene. Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s leg day, I’m buzzing on pre-workout, and I’ve gotta make this squat rack my bitch.”

Mr. Tittycakes, Esquire has yet to respond.

“I can’t talk now, I’ve got to meet with a client who’s suing Dog Day Afternoon for exclusion of canines and inclusion of evening performances.”