by Alexandra Bowman. @scripta_bene.
As a musical theatre geek trying to share your interests with your significant other, you understandably want to take them to see one of the best shows on Broadway at the moment, especially given it’s closing soon.
But Company is, famously, a musical about relationships, love, marriage, and the often soul-crushing challenges that come with them. This is obviously terrible for a date - or maybe good, because honesty and a keen grasp of reality are key in a relationship? Or maybe terrible, because your date will think you’re trying to hint that they need to be more thoughtful about your relationship by taking them to a show that dissects the concept of love in gloriously painful detail? Make it stop.
Is your relationship strong enough for you to take your date to Company? Because we know more about you and your relationship than you do, take our quiz to find out!
1. Are you bothered by seeing things that remind you of your own relationship and point out that there are problems that need to be addressed?
B. Yes. Because I have an active conscience and appreciate things that help me realize how I could be a better person and partner.
C. Yes, I watch a lot of sitcoms. But I don’t really have time to address those problems with them most of the time.
2. Do either of you ever harbor resentment toward your significant other?
A. No, never.
B. Yes. Because I can admit that occasionally I am annoyed by my significant other, and I don’t always bring it up quickly enough. Come to think of it, there’s something they did last week that’s been bugging me that I need to talk to them about before it becomes a problem. Thank you for reminding me to address that.
C. Yes, but I prefer to avoid conflict, so I rarely bring my problems up or address them. Trust me, I don’t need to. It’s fine.
3. Are either of you anxious about the idea of marriage?
A. Only a little.
B. Yes, of course. Because jumping into a lifelong commitment without being fully ready for what is coming and knowing the other person like the back of your hand is really, really stupid.
C. Yes, primarily because we won’t be able to pay for a wedding, much less a house.
4. Do you and your partner consistently approach disagreements in a healthy way?
B. Yes, but we aren’t perfect, and we are always trying to be better.
C. We usually ghost each other for a few days after a fight, but we have always made it through.
5. Did you really hype up the fact that Patti LuPone was in this show as a reason to go see it together?
A. No, should I have?
B. Yes. If I’m going to spend my limited time with my significant other on taking them to a Broadway show, I want to take them to the one that has one of Broadway’s all-time legends.
C. The lady who yelled at the anti-masker? I heard about that. She’s cool. She’d be a plus.
If you answered:
Mostly A’s: Your relationship is not strong enough to see Company on a date.
Mostly B’s: Your relationship is strong enough to see Company on a date.
Mostly C’s: Regardless of whether you should, you are clearly pretty young, so should check your bank account and realize that you definitely don’t have enough money to see Company on a date. Go for a romantic walk through Central Park. There’s a CVS near Columbus Circle that has pepper spray for only 10 bucks.