by Catherine Weingarten. @cwweingarten.
NEW YORK, NY - Up-and-coming playwright Ronny Harrison Johnson was honored with the Pulitzer Prize today for their moving, surprising, and fearless Twitter fight with a drama critic.
“This truly means so much to me, “ said Johnson, polishing his Pulitzer with his teeth. “I have always dreamed of getting the Pulitzer, but I assumed it would be for one of my plays. I got an MFA from one of the top drama schools in the country and write about global warming, sex trafficking, and modern love - but my best work is me telling a Twitter critic he needs to suck it because he didn’t understand my play right.”
Theatregoer and big Ronny Harrison Johnson fan Jenny Botownson, who happened to be wearing the award-winning tweets on her t-shirt, weighed in.
“I loved Ronny’s recent play Global Warming is Bad because it made me cry and realize that global warming truly is bad. However, the most I’ve ever felt from his words were when he told award-winning critic Ryan Rochester that he wouldn’t know what a real play was if it slapped him in the face. Bravo!”
The critic in question, Ryan Rochester, who has a significantly memorable mustache he was twirling like a villain in a movie, appeared very upset about the accolade.
“The Pulitzer should be awarded to a play that has something to say about how Americans live now. It shouldn’t be a random playwright telling me that he’s making Shakespeare cry from the grave,” said Rochester while manically using an old-fashioned typewriter. “He kept adding all these GIFs of hotdogs dancing which I fully don’t understand.”
At press time, the Peabody Award was being presented to Ronny Harrison Johnson for his Facebook expose of how his ex-girlfriend was cheating on him.