Exciting! The Plant From MAYBE HAPPY ENDING Has Announced That He is Now Offer-Only

by Keeley Bell. @omgitskee.

NEW YORK, NY. – Long gone are the days where playing a tree onstage was considered an insult. HwaBoon, the succulent plant from Broadway’s Maybe Happy Ending, has just set out to prove that sometimes it can be easy being green, because he’s just announced that he’s gone offer-only! 

“I just realized, ‘There’s no one else out there doing what I do’,” the two-foot-tall diva told us during his photosynthesizing break outside of the Belasco Theatre.

He took a drag of sunlight and continued.

“I know some might say that I’m too green to be making these kinds of decisions, but why should I bust my blossoms in another grueling audition process when I’m my agent’s top client at the moment? And I have the same rep as Jean Smart.” 

This is certainly unorthodox for a performer who has only recently made his Broadway debut. This got us thinking – What do other famed Broadway plants think of HwaBoon’s claim? Little Shop of Horrors star, Audrey II, took to Instagram Live to share her feelings on the matter in a Get Ready With Me. 

“I’m not going to beat around the bush. I think HwaBoon is biting off more than he can chew, and that’s saying something coming from me,” the carnivorous queen sighed, tentacles dabbing setting powder on her spores. “I’m just going out on a limb here, but this early in the game, you can’t plant these kinds of seeds. No one’s going to want to work with him if he doesn’t nip this kind of attitude in the bud.”

We also tracked down botanical Broadway legend, Into the Woods’ Beanstalk, in her Upper East Side apartment for an interview over tea leaves. 

“I say HwaBoon knows his worth,” Beanstalk shrubbed – uh, shrugged.

We then asked what she thought of Audrey II’s more humble take on the matter.

“She calls herself a veteran? She’s done one Broadway show. I’ve done four. Don’t call yourself a vet, birch.” 

HwaBoon has not heard any of the uproar he’s caused among the theatre plant community, because he’s just been offered a new role: The lead in John M. Chu’s film adaptation of Redwood, opposite Idina Menzel.