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  • Writer's pictureBroadway Beat

AWESOME: Photographer Prefaces Ugliest Headshot Proof You’ve Ever Seen with “Now THIS is the Real You!”

by Emily Drossell. @emily_drossell.


NEW YORK, NY -  Local actor ​​Vicki Riley was in between looks when her photographer offered a sneak peak at some of the shots they’d gotten. Upon seeing a face more horrific than she thought was possible, Riley received the devastating news that it was, in fact, her - sporting an expression the photographer noted as the "real" Vicki.


“I was just getting comfortable when I saw it,” said Riley while staring catatonically at herself in the mirror. “I thought it would be an example of what not to do. That she’d tell me to make my eyes less dead or mouth less…weird. But, no. She just said…’I think we got it.'”


When asked for comment, Mel Horton, the photographer of the $700 hour, only doubled-down on her soul-crushing realism.


“That’s…literally what she looks like,” said Horton, while reading Riley’s effusive plea for additional retouching. “I thought she’d appreciate the encouragement! I didn’t get into this business to lie to people, I’m in it to help them book. And with killer headshots like these, she’ll have her choice of any ‘rundown mom’ or ‘young crone’ types that come her way!”


Upon seeing the final product, Vicki Riley’s mom, who had been debriefed on the events over a three hour phone call, took a moment outside of her daughter’s earshot to share her own thoughts on the matter.


“I just don’t see the issue,” Riley’s mom said, scrolling through the proofs without wearing her glasses. “She looks great in all these! I just know that Broadway or Disney is going to take one look at these photos and say, ‘That’s our next Sydney Sweeney!’”


Riley’s mom went on to promptly post a screenshot of the photo to her Facebook that somehow managed to both crop and enlarge the infamous headshot.


Initial reviews from her mom’s friends have already started coming in, including: “gorgeous girl,” “beautiful young lady,” and “you seem like a very interesting person and I’d like to let you in on an exciting business opportunity. Click the link in my comment to learn more.”

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