BREAKING: Acting Teacher Gets Down in Low Squat to Prepare For a “Truth Bomb”
by Conor Moroney. @conoseamusactor
LENOXDALE, MA – Andrew Jaegerman, a prominent acting teacher in the heart of the Berkshires, has reportedly gotten down in a low squat - an indicator that he is prepared to drop a “Truth Bomb” on his acting student.
“I’ll pace across the room, watching the actor from every angle,” says Jaegerman, perched in his armchair, cross legged, and gazing upwards in his wire frame glasses. “But once I find myself going below the 90 degree threshold, I can finally see something the student wishes they could see: the tool needed to unlock the full use of their instrument. Their true self.”
David Sokler, Jaegerman’s recent recipient of this explosive technique, finds himself still recovering from his teacher's hauntingly deep perception.
“From ass-to-grass he asked me ‘how did that go?’ and I found myself a weeping mess,” Sokler said, frantically filling out the last page of his journal which was empty at the start of class. “It was at that moment I found myself connecting with the multiverse of my truth. From now on I’m going to ask all my directors to squat down during my scenes in order to get the optimal undiscovered, untapped, unrefined truths that are begging to be found. They’ll have to respect that, right?”
Judith Highfield, a fellow teacher who worked with Jaegerman at an acting intensive, had mixed feelings about her colleague's angular approach to great acting.
“He had done the same thing to me and I was initially blown away by it,” Highfield said, taking a break from combining the Suzuki with the Volkswagen methods. “But then I began to realize he was doing it when it came to every decision, and it may just be a comfortable position for him. I think people just don’t expect to be spoken to from such a low place. He makes servers cry when he orders a cheeseburger.”
Jaegerman couldn’t be reached for further comment as he was busy preparing to direct his upcoming production of Two Gentlemen of Verona. Sources say he’s been in his pre-production plank for the last four days.