• Broadway Beat

Heartwarming: This Neighborhood Gathers Every Day at 7:00 to Applaud the Dentist from "Little Shop"

by Brennan Saur. @brennan.saur.

MILLMEADOW, Wisc. - All around the country, communities have come together to celebrate the doctors, nurses, and other essential workers who have been risking their lives everyday in their effort to calm the threat of the novel Coronavirus - often in the form of applauding the workers at 7:00pm each day. However, the citizens of Millmeadow, Wisconsin, have been using the clock to honor their own healthcare hero: Orin Scrivello, D.D.S., aka the dentist from Little Shop of Horrors.


“The heroism of our healthcare workers has been nothing short of inspiring,” says Heather Jones, a local librarian and the mother to a newborn son. “Orin Scrivello, D.D.S., is exactly the type of man I want my son to be: a sadistic drug addict who is ultimately devoured by a giant plant. I can’t wait for 7 o’clock.”


While some communities have come together by singing or by reciting the National Anthem, the citizens of Millmeadow have chosen to celebrate their beloved dentist by standing at the end of their driveways and saying, “AHH!” at exactly 7:00pm each night.


“This is the best way to honor him,” says local contractor Teddy Hill. “At the end of his glorious canticle, so fittingly titled Dentist!, he makes a single command to us foolish mortals: say ‘AHH!’, and we must, for we are grateful to him.”


While some may believe the dentist's problematic history of animal abuse (including allegations that Scrivello had, as a child, “poisoned guppies”) may make him unfit to be labeled as a hero, Mayor Randy Fairchild still believes that Scrivello is worthy of being recognized.


“Listen, the song has an exclamation mark in its title for a reason,” said Fairchild in an online press conference. “No matter what his history is, if you aren’t getting jazzed as shit at the idea of a dentist who operates on his patients without novocaine, then you’re on the wrong side of history. He’s technically a health care provider, so he deserves the same recognition as the actual, non-fictional people risking their lives every day.”


At press time, Ricardo Garfield, leader of local Cub Scout Troop #429, was in the process of handing out gas masks and canisters of nitrous oxide to local residents in order to “improve the experience” and give people a deeper understanding of what Scrivello goes through every day on the front lines.