by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio.
NEW YORK, NY - It was announced this morning that the final musical by iconic songwriter Stephen Sondheim - Here We Are - will premiere in New York this year, marking the grand finale of Sondheim’s eclectic, inspiring work - until AI technology gets good enough to write some more Sondheim music.
“It’s a bittersweet honor to present Mr. Sondheim’s final work, and we can’t wait for both audiences and our new ComposeGPT algorithm to hear it,” noted producer and coincidental AI tech investor Robin Churssta, who insisted we spot three fire hydrants before speaking with us.
“We hope audiences are taken away by what is no doubt another epochal entry into the musical theatre canon. And if they can verbally acknowledge which parts they like the most, as well as their age, race, annual income, and medical history, that would really help us in writing the next Sondheim.”
At press time, casting has yet to be announced for the production - while casting for the next Sondheim will include robots uploaded with the extracted memories of Angela Lansbury, Bernadette Peters, Jerry Orbach, Elaine Stritch, Victor Garber, and you.