Disney Abruptly Cancels THE LION KING After Video Surfaces of Audience Applauding Scar’s Death

by Ben Schrager. Instagram: @ben.schrager. Bluesky: @benschrager.bsky.social.

NEW YORK, NY. - Disney announced today the abrupt closure of Broadway’s The Lion King after a video surfaced of audience members applauding Scar’s death.

“It’s just inappropriate and sick,” said CEO Bob Iger, while trying to convince himself this decision won’t be the first line of his obituary now. “While some may disagree with his tactics, Scar was a beloved uncle and brother, and a leader who was practicing animal kingdom politics the right way. He didn’t deserve to get eaten alive by hyenas, and to see people gleefully cheering it on just shows how divided we’ve become.”

While cast, crew, and fans are worried about the future of this Broadway institution, Mr. Iger promises that this is not a complete cancellation, but rather a temporary pause in order to re-write the show.

“We’re going to make it clear what a benevolent leader Scar is and how good it is to have a strongman in charge,” said Iger while feeling the last ounce of dignity exit his body as though it were a mist emitting from his pores. “Also, we’re giving Timon and Pumbaa wives in order to put to bed the notion that they’re living a deviant lifestyle together. Please tell me that’s enough to satisfy them… please.”

The writer of this article for The Broadway Beat had some strong opinions about this decision. But frankly, we’re getting a lot of heat ourselves, so he was fired before completing this paragra