"Diana" Producers Reveal They've Been Working on Camilla Musical Behind Everyone's Back
by Emily Claypoole. @playdohpoole.
NEW YORK, NY - In light of the announcement that Prince Charles and Camilla will share a coronation upon Queen Elizabeth’s death, Diana: The Musical producers revealed that they have been secretly working on a Camilla Parker-Bowles musical behind everyone's back this whole time.
“We felt that it was finally time to break the news, although it is shameful on our part to have hidden such a large scale work from the public,” said producer Mark Rubin, who spoke with Laura Osnes about the title role in a now-leaked phone conversation. “I am sorry to say that we have been actually been interested in Camilla from the start. Yes, even when Diana was still on Broadway”.
Leanna Ullbeck, a Diana understudy for the role of the people’s princess, took to BBBC (Broadway Beat Broadcasting Company) for a shocking interview in her first public appearance since the news broke.
“I am devastated to hear of this betrayal,” she began, adjusting the off the shoulder strap of her black body-con dress. “I knew Camilla was a topic of interest for producers. I had heard about the workshop, maybe an out of town try out, but I never imagined they would act on their impulses to bring it to Broadway, especially while we were still running. That was when we needed them most.”
Diehard fans of the ill-fated Diana had a lot to say as they protested this development outside of the Longacre Theater, which has not been home to the show since December 2021.
“It is cruel enough that the unwashed masses couldn’t appreciate the masterpiece that DTM was, but now this?” sobbed Carly Herman, a self proclaimed “elder millennial” with short blonde hair and a cursive “Lady Di” tattoo above her clavicle. “How could all of those nasty producers do this to the show? It gave him everything! The best years of the pandemic! A pro-shot on Netflix for crying out loud!” Herman continued, wiping her tears away with a “D4ever” embroidered handkerchief.
On Friday, Rubin and co. released a statement apologizing for their indiscretion, vowing to make it right by making their ties to the “Camilla” musical official, so there is no doubt about what show they are fully committed to. However, Rubin’s personal regret seemed to toe the company line when, on his private Twitter account, he admitted that although the future looks bright, he misses the show because it was “a luxury few can afford”.