David Byrne Debuts "Dude, Where's My Car?" Musical Adaptation "Where Is That Large Automobile?"
by Rebecca Wild.
NEW YORK, NY - While plans are in place for David Byrne’s American Utopia to return to Broadway in September, the creator might just have another trick up his comically oversized gray sleeve. Byrne announced this week that he has plans to add yet another musical adaptation of a movie to the growing lineup—an avant-garde rock retelling of the critically-ignored film Dude, Where's My Car?, set to be titled Where Is That Large Automobile?.
“Sure. Why not?” Replied Byrne, rubbing two dents into his temples at the mention of the idea. “Nothing matters anymore. Go ahead and put my name on it. Who remembers a single name in the cosmic scheme of meaningless existence anyway?”
Conversely, the musical’s producer, Smokey Slouch, was more than excited for rehearsals to start.
“I think it’ll be a great way to introduce the music of David Byrne to those of us who couldn’t understand any of American Utopia,” beamed Slouch while adding gummy worms to his meatball sub. “It might even be this generation’s Hair. And if it flops, we can use it as a teaching moment for an anti-drug campaign! Win-win!” noted Slouch while declining Byrne’s desperate calls and placing a pizza order instead.
However, Slouch failed to comment on his collaborator’s mental state. According to director Brad McCormick, in the days following the agreement, Byrne has been letting the days go by and letting the water hold him down.
“I overheard David swearing vengeance against the movie-musical industry, and repeating the phrase ‘My God! What have I done?’, although these outbursts might be part of his rehearsal process for either of his two musicals,” noted McCormick, who has already begun drafting apology emails to the show’s preview audiences. “I’m not entirely sure, since I can’t afford tickets to American Utopia, and God knows this show doesn’t require that much mental effort”.
At press time, David Byrne declined to comment, but was later seen kneeling on the ground while bashing his head against the floor and repeating the phrase “same as it ever was”, assumedly as part of his rehearsal process for American Utopia. We hope.