This College Theatre Department May Be Small, But It Has A Lot Of Charm. And By Charm, I Mean Mice.
- Broadway Beat
- Nov 20, 2024
- 2 min read
by Shaina Maitino.
PINE HARBOR, IL – The theatre department of James Polk College was never the most sophisticated in the country. They may have no budget for their shows, but it cannot be said that they do not have charm. Sorry, did I say charm? I meant mice. The building has been infested with mice since January 2002.
“The mice are a fixture here,” said sophomore Tessa Jackson, right before walking into a mess of cobwebs backstage. “They’re always around for rehearsals, and they make a great audience. Sometimes, there’s more mice in the audience than people. They can’t clap, but I like to think that they’re fans.”
Not everyone was as enthusiastic about these furry friends. Technical director Lorraine Schafer had several complaints.
“This job is already so goddamn difficult,” Schafer grumbled while marching up to the attic with a broom. “I could be all ready to start building, but nope! I have to check for new mouse holes first. And when the students find them during rehearsal, they all melt! Freshmen leave cheese for them. The house smells disgusting. And do you know who has to deal with that? Me.”
It’s true, only six people bought tickets to the fall production of Kiss Me Kate, but the Polk Theater department has a lot of gumption. Not gumption. Sorry. I meant bats. They’ve had bats since the 80s.
We reached out to Polk College’s public safety for comment.
“This school has a theater?” questioned Head of Security Connor McDowell, between bites of the most disgusting sandwich we’ve ever seen. “No really, I got calls saying there’s infestations in the theater, but I went up to that tiny little building and I thought it was a prank. It doesn’t look structurally sound. They really do plays in that?”
Polk Theatre’s Kiss Me Kate is still selling tickets through the end of the month. The students are optimistic, and some even believe their parents will come to this one. Wait, did I say parents? I meant exterminators.
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