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Broadway Shows Close, Perform in Secret After Preacher's Son Contracts COVID-19

by Justin Ayer. @JustinAyer (Twitter), @JustAyer (Instagram).

NEW YORK, NY - It was announced today that all Broadway productions are canceled through April 12th, due to the city Preacher advocating for the closure after his son contracted COVID-19. Despite the Preacher's success in closing down the Broadway shows, the performers have all decided to still meet up in secret and perform despite the city’s rule, hushed sources confirmed.


“Yeah, it’s awful what happened to his family, but performing isn’t what hurt his family, it was the virus,” said an anonymous cast member from The Lion King. “We meet up on the West Side of Central Park, that way we have enough room for our stilts, but we stay out of the path of city officials.”


Other secret performances include a 14th street F train performance of Come From Away, and a performance of Moulin Rouge! only accessible through the Katz’s Delicatessen loading dock. Even more to the Broadway Beat’s surprise was that the Preacher’s daughter, Ariel, was seen attending these banned performances.


“My Father is a good man, but ever since this tragedy he’s been different. Yes, this is a bit of a rebellion, but you can’t live your life in fear,” said Ariel. “If my daddy ever found out I would be in so much trouble. Ever since this handsome young cast member from Chicago got involved, we’ve been performing anywhere we can. It’s a thrill trying not to get caught.”


Clarice Hopper, a 64 year old New Yorker, was distraught when informed of the defiant performances.


“I used to love Broadway, but if this Preacher says that Broadway is the reason why the coronavirus is coming after people, then we have to stop it altogether!” yelled Hopper while holding several nonsensical signs in support of the closure. “It’s reckless of these performers to meet unsupervised, and they should be stopped! Broadway is the devil!”


At press time, some writers and producers were already thinking this story could make a great Broadway musical of its’ own, but had to put those thoughts to rest in order to attend Six’s opening performance, which will take place at the CityMD on 96th and Lexington, with the after party taking place at the CityMD on 57th between 9th and 10th. Black tie and asymptomatic only.