If I’m Beveling, and You’re Beveling… Then Who’s Flying the Plane!?

by Elanna White.

IN THE CLOUDS, Somewhere Above PA - Clear skies appeared over the Northeast this morning as eager CCM Musical Theatre majors nervously enjoyed the flight to their Senior Showcase in NYC. What they weren’t expecting, however, was an experience of prima donna-level proportions when the group learned firsthand about the dangers of beveling with a boarding pass.

“It all started with the group photo,” Jimmy Award-winning ingénue Vera Meadows shared. “It was one of those smaller planes where you walk out to the tarmac and climb those little stairs to get on, so we seized the opportunity to get a picture in front of it. Of course there were a few knee pops to fit everyone in. I mean, there are eighteen of us. But when we looked back at the shots, the captain had photobombed them. I mean, shouldn’t he have been prepping for take off?” 

Meadows’ classmate, white cishet male Michael Anderson, had some details to add.

“After the picture is when it got weird,” Anderson recalled tensely through his personal steamer. “We board the plane and the flight attendants are standing in the aisles to welcome everyone and one by one as we step in they all start beveling. It was like it was contagious. Even the pilot was at the front of the plane with his heel up. It felt like that scene in Annie. You know the one where the staff is all ushering her into her first day at Daddy Warbucks’ mansion? Then when we all sat down, the safety video started.”

Mira Alexander, token character actor of the class, described the scene. 

“It opened with an aircrew singing a medley of NYC-themed showtunes. But then I look up and our flight attendants are dancing along while they lip sync like a Rocky Horror shadowcast. The people in the video looked oddly familiar and then I realize… it’s our crew starring in it,” Alexander paused for a moment, shuddering.

“At the end they pulled out the safety brochures which had yellow headers that literally said PLANEBILL. I opened mine and all their headshots were in it? An hour out, the pilot announced that he was doing stagedoor at the cockpit. I wondered how he’d manage that but I was honestly too afraid to ask at that point.”

Although they did end up landing at JFK International Airport safely, there were reports that someone screamed mid-flight “Is there a doctor on this plane?!” which was later clarified that someone was asking if there was a diva on the flight (there were plenty.)