“BDSM” Acronym Changed to Stand for Brecht, Dramaturgy, Stanislavski, Meisner

by Eli Mendenhall. @elihmen.

TOLEDO, Ohio - Official representatives from the BDSM community, whose identities remain a mystery due to the latex masks worn over their faces, have announced a motion to redefine the famous acronym. This is to better align with one of the most notorious acts of sadomasochism: acting training. 

“BDSM’s whole thing of domination and submission falls directly in line with what it takes to perfect your craft as an actor," mentions Mistress Katrina (we were asked to refer to her as such). “I break people down to nothing through consensual ridicule, intimidation, and control. That sounds like an acting class to me! Honestly, what I do probably has less weird sexual tension...and costs less.”

Emotional readiness and structure are the cornerstones of a trained actor, and this is not unfamiliar territory to Paul Kelsey, ‘Pony Play’ enthusiast. 

“This is pure Meisner,” states Kelsey, removing a horse lead from his mouth. "When I have to repeat the phrase ‘I’m a good little horsie’ out loud - I say it over and over until it feels true. It helps me arrive and ground myself in my character’s true intention, which is usually to be a good little horsie."

Kelsey then began to neigh and buck his legs, which at first was alarming, but once we saw such a rich emotional life in his performance, we were won over. As was Kelsey, when we stroked his mane and fed him sugar cubes. 

“I think it’s wildly inappropriate," states Deidra Nelson, president of the National League of Dramaturgy - where she also serves as the secretary, treasurer, and interim vice president. 

“To be associated with something as crude as a sexual subculture isn’t fair. Dramaturgy is about tying down circumstance to the text. Roping in lived experience, almost giving a harness to the director so they can explore. It’s about flogging, sorry, FLAGGING the questions in the script, and demanding answers. How long is the creative team’s leash? The dramaturg helps decide that,” Nelson concluded, fanning herself.

“Imagine a climax without a dramaturg."

This new development already seems to be taking form in the theatre. For example:

• Concord theatricals reports a 120% growth in rights purchased for The Rocky Horror Show. 

• A new Tony category has been added for “Best Technology Suspending an Actor in the Air” (Redwood and Stranger Things being standout nominations). 

• “The Green Room 42” is being renamed “The Scream Room 42." Everything else about it will remain the same.