“We’re Doing This ALL OUT Mode,” says Teacher About to Have Students Popcorn Read from Textbook

by HaleyJane Rose. @haleyisfamous.

BERGEN COUNTY, NJ — Bergen Community College faculty member and occasional theater goer Melinda Antenucci announced to her History of American Politics class today that they’d be taking turns randomly reading from the textbook “All Out style,” in a cheeky attempt to bring the Broadway play’s unique structure to the classroom.

“When I saw the ‘Comedy About Ambition’ last week and all those celebrities sitting on stage reading from their little books, I just loved it!” said Antenucci, surfing Wayfair.com for an eerily familiar midcentury modern sofa set for her classroom. “From a purely educational standpoint, to be clear. As a Broadway show? No, that was kind of a dud.”

Maxwell Dorrance, a first-year student with an undeclared major, felt a bit cheated by All Out’s presence in his studies.

“Honestly, this sucks butt. You mean to say that I pay all this tuition money just to sit and read my lines—uh, I mean textbook—out loud?” vented Dorrance, who commuted 40 minutes and hired a babysitter to come to this show, I mean school. “I could pay the same amount and take up a dance class, an acting elective, or a class with a plot—uh, I mean, a more hands-on course.”

Other courses have followed a similar suit to Antenucci’s. Second-year student Sarah Mapletree expressed confusion at the theatrical trends spreading across her college.

“My teacher busted out a guitar between textbook chapters of our Sociology class. I guess he was trying to do the Lawrence portion of the show?” questioned Mapletree, reluctantly donning an argyle sweater vest, tie, and blazer in an effort to appease her All Out-pilled professor. “That would explain the Teaching Assistant horn section.”

Upon further investigation, it appears in the BCC course catalog that the course formerly known as “Studies in Romantic Literature” is now simply named All In: Sitting and Reading About Love!