by Cory Cousins. Twitter: @VanHammersly42.
MINNEAPOLIS - Local theatre fans enjoying Andrew Lloyd Webber’s acclaimed musical Cats this weekend were surprised and delighted after an audience member’s cell phone started playing Cardi B’s “WAP” during the 11 o’clock number, “Memory,” completely enhancing the otherwise somber ballad.
“I consider myself to be the preeminent fan of the world’s greatest musical, Cats,” declared Vera Winthrop, a season ticket holder and self-described “Cats-ologist.” “I have seen this melodious masterstroke over one-hundred times, and I must say: when the woman’s phone started singing about wet ass pussies, I was at first shocked, but then strangely aroused. Maybe it was Grizabella’s wistful ballad combined with unadulterated raunch, but I believe that song was changed for the better.”
Wendy St Germaine, the cast member who played Grizabella, was available for comment while playing with a ball of yarn in her dressing room.
“My initial reaction was outrage,” confessed St Germaine in between laps of milk from a nearby bowl. “We in the performing arts have little tolerance for any sort of interruption from the audience, especially cell phones going off. But this was different. I felt as though Cardi’s lyrics and melodies harmonized exquisitely with my own. Especially the part that goes, ‘Tie me up like I’m surprised. Let’s role-play, I wear a disguise.’ I think Grizabella can relate, behind that thick facade of whiskers and fur. It really made the tune pop!”
An usher present in the theater during the performance shared his perspective on the unexpected addition.
“I was a little confused at the beginning,” admitted usher and new Cardi B fan, Reginald Franks. “At first I thought the phone song was talking about really wet cats, since we were watching a show about cats. But after one of the young patrons explained it to me, I understood. Now I can’t get enough of it!”
Following the massive success from their most recent performance, the Cats production team has arranged for another cell phone interruption of “WAP,” or possibly Megan Thee Stallion’s “Big Ole Freak.”