by Ben Schrager. Instagram: @ben.schrager, Twitter: @ben_schrager.
NEW YORK, NY - Local singer and Neti Pot advocate Sharon Lindstrop announced today that her paycheck for singing backup vocals in tonight’s 54 Below concert is finally enough to afford the cover charge for a 54 Below concert.
“At first I thought the producer was just giving me a thank you note and a drink ticket,” said Lindstrop while scrounging for leftovers in an Au Bon Pain. “But when I opened it up and saw the paycheck I burst into tears. With this type of money, I can not only afford a seat in the coat check closet for a 54 Below concert, but have enough left over to split an order of plantain chips with a friend, if they cover the tip.”
Dan Falkton, a fellow singer whose website bio claims that he’s a “Baritone with high notes,” was shocked when he saw how much Lindstrop was making.
“It’s unheard of in our line of work,” said Falkton, in between failed attempts to hit the “why” note in “Gethsemane.” “I mean, she’s making upwards of two figures on 54 Sings Limp Bizkit.” After a long pause, Falkton added, “Four, if you count cents. It’s truly inspiring.”
Not everyone is thrilled by this development, however. Harold Pasche, a competing producer at 54 Below, is worried that it’s a slippery slope.
“If we start paying every singer enough to see the concerts themselves, we won’t be able to afford to produce as much,” said Pasche from his dressage horse breeding stable. “I’m barely making ends meet myself: my last concert at 54 Below was a huge hit, but I had to dip into my Second Yacht Fund in order to put it up. If I started paying everyone the way they’re paying Ms. Lindstrop, then concerts like Mambo No. 1: The Unauthorized Lou Bega Musical will simply no longer be possible.”
Lindstrop used her earnings to purchase a ticket to her concert for a college friend, as well as the plantain chips that she had mentioned in her initial Instagram Live announcement. Unfortunately, Ms. Lindstrop was not aware of the two drink minimum, and at the time of reporting, she owed 54 Below $45 for a pair of gin and tonics.