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Woman Wondering Who Tony Is and Why He’s Interrupting Her "NCIS" Rerun

by Justin Ayer. @JustAyer.

GUTHRIE, Oklahoma -- Retired Bank Teller and Mark Harmon super fan Debbie Curtis expressed her disappointment in CBS this morning, after looking through this week’s TV guide and realizing her beloved NCIS rerun was replaced with someone named Tony who is winning an award.


“I don’t know who Tony is, but I do know he’s not my Mark.” Curtis said as she put out a cigarette in her coffee. “And apparently James Corden is giving Tony the award for like 3 hours? Why does it take so long to give one guy a trophy?”


When The Broadway Beat explained to Curtis that the Tony Awards celebrated the best of the best in the New York Broadway Community, Curtis refused to stand down.


“Why am I forced to watch some people prance around singing showtunes when I could be watching the episode where DiNozzo is on truth serum again. Now that’s good TV”


Eric Lopez, Curtis’ next door neighbor and local community theatre director, had much to say about the amateur detective.


“I used to invite her to award-show parties at my house but she would always scoff at us, claiming that she doesn’t care about a man named Oscar and that her Grammy died years ago. I stopped inviting her once I caught her shooting a gun at our tree and ‘pulling an Abby’’ by testing the forensics on it. She really does watch too much NCIS.”


When asked if she would watch the Tony Awards should NCIS be turned into a stage musical, Curtis replied, “Ha, turning TV and movies into musicals? That’ll be the day. Next you’re gonna tell me there’s a Beetlejuice musical.”


You can catch not NCIS on CBS tonight at 8PM.