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“West Side Story” Revival Cuts 'I Feel Pretty', All Other Songs, Tony's Death, Tony, Stage, Lights

by Justin Ayer. @justayer (Instagram), @justinayer (Twitter).

New York, NY — Innovative theatre director Ivo van Hove announced his changes to the highly anticipated Broadway revival of West Side Story this morning, which include removing beloved songs “I Feel Pretty” and the “Somewhere” ballet, as well as all other songs, the character of Tony and his death, all lights, and the stage itself, among other essentials, sources confirmed.


“When I went back over the script I realized we needed to trim the fat, but also some of the meat,” said Hove as he took a long drag from a cigarette and then a juul. “It’s going to anger some and it’s going to thrill others, but that’s what theatre is supposed to do - piss you off and make you question if something is good and making a point, or is just kind of bad and different for no reason,” he added.


Judy Pearson, a die hard West Side Story fan, had already bought her tickets for the upcoming revival.


“What a rip off. I know the guy is supposed to be some genius or something but how can you have a show if you literally don’t have music,” she wondered while in line, looking to return her tickets. “I didn’t even notice that my tickets said ‘there are no seats, everyone just stands on one leg’. Is that brilliant and innovative, or just kind of a dick move?” she questioned.


A cast member who requested to remain anonymous shared some insight into the production’s rehearsal process.


“Ivo would call rehearsal and have us all line up and say ‘I Feel Pretty’ then yell at us “NO! YOU DO NOT!” and that’s how we found out the song was cut,” noted the actor making their Broadway debut, kind of, in the production. “He also got rid of the Playbills, now we have to individually recite our bios before the show begins. It takes over 90 minutes every show. I hate this,” they added.


At press time, Hove mentioned that after he’s done with the revival he would be moving on to direct a belgium production of Annie where both the famed orphan, Daddy Warbucks and Sandy the dog are all played by Tilda Swinton.


“I love directing because it means I can do whatever I want without consequences,” he added while fitting his actors for spacesuits (the new production takes places in space). Ivo van Hove’s Broadway revival of West Side Story begins previews December 49th.