• Broadway Beat

“Make the Weird Art,” says Evil Surgeon from “The Human Centipede”

by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio.

NEW YORK, NY - Local surgeon Josef Heiter issued a rousing testament to creativity at last night's Tony Awards, urging everyone to “make the weird art” as he carefully - and accurately, from a medical standpoint - sewed three individuals together ass-to-mouth.


“I would love this little prize to be a token for every person who is wondering, ‘should I be trying to make something that could work in a mainstream surgery center, or that could win me a research grant? Or should I be making the weird art that is haunting me, that frightens me, that I don't know how to make, that I don't know if anyone in the whole world will understand?',” noted Heiter, whose statement is already making waves on social media from passionate communities of young, psychotic surgeons.


“Please let me standing here be a little sign to you from the universe to make the weird art. Make… The Human Centipede.”


At press time, Heiter is hoping to transfer his European invention to the U.S. next season. Several producers - worried about the centipede’s commercial viability - are currently urging him to find stars to attach, with most celebrities immediately turning the project down because they “don’t want to be attached to someone else ass-to-mouth”.