• Broadway Beat

Tony Awards: “You’ll Move On from Theatre When We Say You’ll Move On from Theatre”

by The Broadway Beat.

NEW YORK, NY - After announcing that Academy Award winner Ariana DeBose would host this year’s Tony Awards ceremony, the award committee stood with confidence, noting that anyone in the theatre community “will move on from theatre when we say you’ll move on from theatre”.


“Let this be a lesson. No matter what you do, no matter where you go, we could have you back here any time we want,” noted American Theatre Wing president Greg Hill, polishing his case of GPS trackers for the original cast of Spring Awakening. “I don’t mean that you go do TV and movies and eventually return for some big comeback musical. What I’m saying is: we could have you in the ensemble of Phantom by 2:00pm if we want. This isn’t a threat, just something to keep in mind. Welcome, Ariana!”


At press time, the committee was meeting to discuss whether or not to adjust the number of meters permitted by Neil Patrick Harris’s shock collar.