by Brian Cudina. @BrianCudina.
NEW YORK, NY. — Representatives of Broadway’s famous TKTS booth, which offers same-day theater tickets at a discounted rate, revealed today that the company has actually been charging 450% of original ticket prices this whole time.
“Nobody asks for help,” said TKTS agent Rory Shetland. “We stand outside the line and ask ‘Does anybody need help? Do you understand how this works?’ and they say ‘no thanks’, but then they get to the ticket booth and have no idea what the hell’s going on. So this is our way of getting back.”
While the discounts are advertised as 30%–70% off face value, TKTS has been making close to $1000 per ticket, with tourists such as Arvid Larsen, on vacation from Norway, thinking they’re the ones getting away with a bargain.
“They try to razz you on the line,” she noted while looking over a picture she took with a Times Square Elmo that cost $90. “They want to persuade you to pick a certain show early on. I keep my ears and mouth shut until I get to the booth, and then I start asking questions. What’s the plot? Genre? How many credits does the ensemble have? The pressure is now on them to get me a good deal, or I walk. They always come through” she said after paying $780 for a rear balcony ticket to “The Ferryman”.
The initial report was surprisingly released in a press release from TKTS CEO Jeff McIntosh.
“It’s laughable how tourists will do something without researching,” said McIntosh. “We want to get the word out that charging too much works. Why should we have all the fun, especially at the expense of annoying tourists?”
It is expected that tourists will continue to fall for this ticketing scam, while local millennials will continue to just illegally watching bootlegs on YouTube.