Local Woman Rebrands Toxic Relationship as “Shakespearean Comedy of Errors”
by Liz Wiest. @lizkhawiesta.
JERSEY CITY, NJ - Freelance social media manager Charlotte Guerrero announced today that she has decided to take her passion for brand invigoration to the next level by rebranding her latest failed situationship as a “Shakespearean Comedy of Errors”.
“My life coach always says that your thoughts dictate your reality,” explained Guerrero, who put together a PowerPoint for us on this for some reason. “So I’ve decided to create a virtual marketing strategy detailing how the only rational explanation why Zach ghosted me was because Puck has yet to cast a love spell on him.”
Zachary Greer, the ghoster in question, left The Broadway Beat on read three times before finally agreeing to shed some light on the situation.
“I knew I needed space when she wouldn’t stop referring to me as Demetrius,” clarified Zach as he actively swiped on Tinder during the interview. “Like, I don’t even know who that is. I literally haven’t read Macbeth or whatever since high school. I just want to get back to leading on these girls in peace.”
Yvonne Zimmerman, Guerrero’s former college English professor, also weighed in with some frustration of the literary sense.
“She obviously must have never paid attention in my class,” retorted Zimmerman as she pulled out a copy of the First Folio for reference. “The Comedy of Errors is one of Shakespeare’s earliest plays, it’s not a freakin’ entire genre? And all the fairy shit? Why is she bringing Midsummer Night’s Dream into this? Who is letting her post these things! No wonder that boy never called her back. I wouldn’t have either!”
Guerrero claims that despite some online backlash from the “haters”, many of her followers have really resonated with this latest campaign, despite the fact that it is not being very clear what the brand in question is marketing. Some spectators have noted the campaign has little to offer besides "thinly-veiled cyberbullying attacks at Zach and an obvious attempt to recreate the PR success that was Taylor Swift’s 10-minute All Too Well".