Playing God? HS Theater Director Still Gives Andrew a Callback Even Though He Missed First Audition
by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio.
Chandler, AZ. - Beatrice P. Davis High School theater director Mr. Kemper announced today that he would give Junior Andew Messing a callback for the Spring production of Sweeney Todd, despite the fact that he had to miss the mandatory first round of auditions due to his Grandmother’s wake, sources confirm.
“This is unprecedented,” notes sophomore Molly Jamson. “Mr. Kemper says every year that the first round of auditions are absolutely mandatory, no exceptions. Then, Andrew’s Grandma finally gives in to her years-long battle with dementia, and all of a sudden it’s fair game? Kemper’s gone off the deep end this time. He’s completely unhinged.”
Other students, such as Senior David Saintsbury, echoed Molly’s sentiment.
“I used to think Mr. Kemper was cool, but now I see that he’s a dangerous man who’s not afraid to burn his own law,” the young actor noted while shopping for grey hair dye that washes out easily. “It’s just not how things work - why should Andrew get a fair pass? Because his Grandmother’s struggle with dementia has been a heavily troubling and emotionally consuming event for both him and his family over the past several years? Ok, I hear it now,” he added.
Even Andrew himself was unsure of how to take this once-in-a-lifetime bending of the rules.
“Mr. Kemper is really playing with fire,” he noted while looking over the sheet music for “My Friends”. “I’m happy that I get to audition, but those rules are practically written in stone. I mean, what’s next? Cell phones out during rehearsal? No chaperones at the cast party? Is he gonna start allowing food and drink in the auditorium? I shudder to even think about it.”
At press time, students were planning an intervention for Mr. Kemper to assure that he has not fully, as one student puts it, “lost his fucking mind.”
Mr. Kemper could not be reached for comment, as he was visiting his lake house with his two young children, who he allowed to each have a second ice cream cone in yet another act of societal heresy.