• Broadway Beat

"At Least It's Not BroadwayCon," Sighs Parent Dropping Off Child at Comic Con

by Justin Ayer. @JustinAyer.

NEW YORK, NY - Long Island resident Lisa Suarez dropped her teenage son Allen off in front of NYC’s Javits Center this morning for the 2019 New York Comic Con, expressing her relief that while the event is inherently nerdy, at least it’s not as bad as BroadwayCon, sources confirmed.


“This place seems super geeky and everyone’s dressed up as God-knows-what, but it’s still leagues less humiliating than BroadwayCon, ” Suarez said as she pulled her son’s Ghostbusters backpack out of the trunk of her Honda CRV. “At first he wanted to go as a Demogorgon, but I didn’t know if that was a weird sex thing or not. I’m just glad he didn’t ask to go to as an Elphaba, or worse, anything Aaron Tveit has played,” she added.


Her son, Allen Suarez, a 10th level wizard and 100% fanboy, has been attending Comic Con with his friends for several years now.


“I’ve definitely dabbled in musicals, but the shame that attending BroadwayCon would bring to my family is devastating. I would have to sit with the musical theatre kids at school, who constantly argue who their favorite Seymour of 2019 is. How could I do that to my loved ones?” he added before attending a panel on food-based anime.


Several other parents voiced their own relief at the comparison.


“When Spider-Man was on Broadway, my son begged me to see it, but I held off and I’m glad I did. No telling what he would be doing now,” noted Queens-based Father of three Jeremy Pikits, whose son spent all of his lifeguarding money constructing a large paper mache Appa from Avatar: The Last Airbender


“He’s safe for now, but if Dungeons and Dragons ever became a musical, I think I would lose him for good, and I can’t let that happen,” he added with tears in his eyes.


At press time, Suarez was debating whether or not to hop in line to meet actor Tom Hiddleston, who he loves as Loki in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but who is also currently on Broadway in the play Betrayal, ultimately choosing to avoid the actor, just in case.