OPINION: Elon Musk Should Play King George in “Hamilton” (Written by Definitely Not Elon Musk)
by Zach Raffio @zachraffio.
Controversial tech mogul/rejected Axe Vape spokesman Elon Musk hosts SNL tonight - a move which has many questioning whether he has any comedic skills whatsoever. However I - an anonymous individual who paid The Broadway Beat $100,000 in dogecoin to publish this piece - think this should only be the beginning.
To be specific: I believe that Elon Musk should play King George in Hamilton.
And before you make any assumptions that I, the person expressing this opinion, actually is Elon Musk, allow me to squash your suspicions. I’m just a normal person who thinks he is sincerely very funny and that nothing he has ever said or done has been absolutely and fully humiliating in every way.
There would, of course, have to be some changes. They’d have to lower the key, or perhaps just ignore keys entirely and let him do whatever tune comes to mind. We're assuming that tune won't sound like "music", but that's ok.
Instead of a British accent, maybe he could do… I don’t know… South African? Just an idea. Acting is about learning to adapt, but having money is about making other things adapt to you. Not that I would know - I am just a person and not the guy who named his child something your cat types when it runs across a keyboard.
Past Georges have nailed the finer comedic timing of each of his songs, and I believe that Mr. Musk would do no different. However, if he wasn’t able to knock down the left-field funny chops, would you really care? Did you come to see Elon Musk because you thought he’d be good, or because you were curious about what the absolute fuck he sounds like outside of cringy Joe Rogan interviews?
Either way, I think we should give definitely-not-me a try. And after the show, the whole cast and him can hang out, and they will definitely actually like him and not just feel pressured into laughing at his “Woke Aaron Burr” jokes. No, it will be real laughs. Real laughs with real friends. Elon Musk has friends.
So, in conclusion, it’s time for Elon Musk to take on some of theatre’s finest comedic roles. Perhaps he can follow up his stage debut with a turn as Edna Turnblad, followed by Max Bialiystock and Frank N. Furter. Before we know it, he’ll be able to take on roles that aren’t even comedic. Today it’s Orin Scrivello, tomorrow it’s Valjean.
The sky is the limit for comedy and theatre’s next big star, Elon Musk. This is him writing by the way.