Man Not Sexist, Just Wondering Why There Aren’t More Male Characters in Play & Also Your Bra Size
by Catherine Weingarten. @sarahkaneissexy (Twitter). @cwweingarten (Instagram).
NEW YORK, NY - Local actor Max Jones Migills was astounded and downright offended when playwright Lila Rose Stevenbaum called him sexist, for asking why there aren’t more than two male characters in her five character play and also for asking her her bra size, sources confirmed.
“I am very supportive of female playwrights,” said Migills, who also mentioned he had an Annie Baker poster in his room because “she’s hot.” “This play is all about pregnancy, but I’m just more curious about what the men are feeling, why there are so few of them, and also you think Lila is single, because she sucks on cough drops pretty hotly.”
Stevenbaum, the playwright and Facebook activist known for her poignant retweets of hot button issues, was not at all surprised by Max’s comments.
“So many male actors say they care about women’s plays, but then all they ask is 'why isn’t the play focused on the male experience?' and 'do people really care about female protagonists?' and also 'would you like to go to Ihop with me later tonight?' because they want to watch me eat chocolate chip pancakes in slow motion.”
The Male Actors Guild was called to weigh in on the accusations.
“I think Max’s question may have been a tad inappropriate” said Bobo Stevens, head of the group infamous for sneaking hoagies and craft beer into Broadway shows. “Working on a new play should be all about asking questions, and while we’re proud that Max didn’t shy away from the tough ones, you must remember that Lila is a gifted up-and-comer and knows what she’s doing. Her last play - about women attacking zombie straight men for being the patriarchy - was so moving that it made me see the world from a female perspective and I bet she’s a C cup at least.”
At press time, the other male actor in the play and director agreed that the play was sexist against men and have hired McGills to rewrite a draft to fulfill his vision. After the incident, Max read aloud some passages from Bad Feminist by Roxanne Gay while lightly crying and occasionally eating cake sadly, which everyone in the room said was “wildly healing.”