“King Kong” Puppet Back to Waiting Tables After Show Closes

by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio

NEW YORK, NY - Following last month’s closing of the Broadway musical King Kong, the show’s lead - a large, groundbreaking gorilla puppet that requires 15 people to operate - has been forced to return to his pre-broadway job of waiting tables at The Smith’s Upper West Side location, sources have confirmed.

“It’s a tough industry, always full of ups and downs,” said the large puppet while on break, as three puppeteers moved his mouth to talk. “There’s a lot of talent in this town, especially amongst actual human actors, and not just humongous, visually stunning monkey toys,” he added before finishing his cigarette and returning to the restaurant floor.

Casting directors around town have been eager to find the Tony winner a high-profile role, but are skeptical of his career longevity.

“We had him come in and read for Aaron Samuels, the crush of our high school-age lead,” says Mean Girls casting director Lauren Beckman. “He had a wonderful energy - no doubt due to the small army of people that were maneuvering his limbs. In the end, though, I just don’t think that people will believe a giant gorilla puppet can play a teenage heartthrob,” she added. 

The King Kong puppet recently booked a student film out of NYU, but the young filmmakers were disappointed with his performance.

“At first we thought that having a Broadway star would be a huge plus,” noted Tisch senior Devin Crimm. “The film was supposed to be a subtle relationship drama, but everything Kong did was a big, clunky motion that destroyed half the set. It was also really tough fitting an extra 15 people in my dorm.” 

Luckily, the NYU team was able to find an alternative.

“We recast him with Rod from Avenue Q, who’s also been looking for work since his show closed,” noted the young filmmaker.

In addition to waiting tables, Kong also attempted to make ends meet with a brief stint on TaskRabbit, before being booted off the app after all customers complained he “couldn’t even fit through my apartment door”.

At press time, the King Kong puppet was seen running lines for his Law & Order: SVU audition, in which he would play the dead body of a young Wall Street investor, found in a Brooklyn shipping yard. The actor was optimistic he would book it, despite the fact that he isn’t a living human, but rather a 2,000-pound gorilla action figure controlled by over a dozen individuals.