by Alec Brown. @brownta3.
NEW YORK, New York – Beloved Off-Broadway production Gazillion Bubble Show is facing controversy this week after 6-year old Michelle Vincent told the company manager “I counted and that was not a gazillion bubbles," shocked sources confirmed.
“I came with my kindergarten class from the Corlears School. We were on a field trip to learn the science of bubbles,” Vincent gleefully stated as she ate her Pink Berry froyo post-show treat. “I’m not a first grader yet, but I can count really good. I’m the best counter in my class because I don’t use my fingers anymore. I counted all the bubbles in the show and there were only a million-billion bubbles. That’s nowhere near a gazillion.”
Vincent’s observation revealed that an accurate bubble count had never been done since the show opened twelve years ago. Patrons of all ages were shocked to learn that the show had been falsely advertised, including the theatre staff themselves.
“All of my years working on this show and I never once questioned the Yang family’s claim to how many bubbles are actually in the production,” expressed company manager George Howell. “I trusted that they were telling the truth, since they market this show directly to kids. Every performance was pure magic to me, but it’s lost its luster after I realized that they don’t know how many bubbles they really make per show. I mean... who would lie to kids?”
The Yang family released the following statement in response.
“We are extremely sorry that our show’s title has been perceived as deceptive or as a false advertisement. We do our best to deliver an ‘unbubblievable experience’ to everyone that comes to see us perform. Our family strives to hold true to what we say, and we take this concern very seriously. 'Gazillion Bubble Show' will be closed the following week to undergo a critical evaluation regarding the amount of bubbles created in each show. We look forward to continuing to take our audiences to a world of magic with the certainty that each show truly, and legally, has a minimum of a gazillion bubbles.”
Gazillion Bubble Show has already pushed back its reopening twice. Bubble auditors are still scratching their heads as to how the little girl counted all of the bubbles, which range in shape, size, and color, before they popped.