“Just Trying to Find My Cinderella,” Says Guy On Hinge Who Mostly Means the Feet Thing
by Devin Wallace. @thedevinwallace.
ALBANY, NY - 34-year old bachelor Harris Matthews wrote in his Hinge dating profile that he is searching for a woman to be his Cinderella, although sources say he’s most interested in the part of that fairy tale where a guy checks out a bunch of women’s feet.
“I’ll be your Prince Charming,” wrote Matthews to over a dozen women who were immediately embarrassed to have matched with him on the dating app. Matthews also opened with: “This prince will give you a ball"; “Ten minutes ago you stole my heart"; and “will pay $20 to paint toes red.”
Heather Stokes, who matched with Matthews on Hinge, said she enjoyed the old-fashioned banter, at first.
“We’d go back and forth with little references or bits from Cinderella,” said Stokes, visibly cringing while looking at her old DMs. “I’d ask if he wanted to come over to My Own Little Corner, or I’d ask if he loved me because I’m beautiful, and he’d be sort of cute and say 'put on a pair of flip-flops and send me a pic. Gavotte'.”
Brianna Warren, who also matched with Matthews on Hinge for less than thirty minutes, said his “charming” persona also existed offline.
“He liked to imagine himself as a classic fairy-tale Prince,” said Warren while texting Stokes (they actually became pretty good friends after this interview). “By that I mean he showed up to my parents’ house at 8 A.M. asking me and my sisters to try on a pair of vintage roller skates he happened to be carrying around.”
At press time, Matthews asked us if it was a crime to be a romantic, and also if we could try on this pair of size 9 Keds. Sources reveal he was last spotted searching for his Cinderella in the vast kingdom of FeetFinder.com.