by Louie Aronowitz. @louiearonowitz.
SAN FRANCISCO - Theatre dancer Tessa Brogue has been seen sitting in a normal social setting with one leg up on a nearby table, knee bent so the foot rests on her shoulder, and the other leg tucked underneath and up behind her body against the back of her seat, sources indicate.
“This is what’s comfortable,” Brogue shouted while scratching behind her ear with her foot like a dog. “What do you want from me? My anterior superior iliac spine tightens if I don’t stretch my inguinal region literally every second of every day no matter how in appropriate the setting.”
Those with Brogue at the social gathering were accustomed to the behavior, yet concerned some may not understand the practice.
“When she put her leg up on someone else’s table at the restaurant I was sure we’d get kicked out or something,” stated friend Marcus Beller just after reciting his stock explanation to the people at said table. “We don’t let her go up to the bar anymore because she’ll put a leg up on it like it's the other kind of barre. And if she ever starts pulling 2 tables together, you KNOW it’s time to leave!”
Surprisingly, several orthopedists have agreed "sitting weird" is actually the best remedy for the stiffness that accompanies a grueling career in dance.
“I always tell my patients, don’t bother with heating pad or Icy Hot or surgical options or anything, just sit with your legs in the most awkward position imaginable,” commented Dr. Goldfing, head of orthopedics at a nearby hospital, who attempted to show what he meant but split his pants in the process. “The more uncomfortable it makes those around you, the likely better it is for your joints.”
When pressed further about whether or not Brogue found sitting in weird positions actually helpful, she eventually admitted it was not and she was just sitting like that to make sure everyone knew she was a dancer.