Audience Begrudgingly Sits Through Happiest Day of Understudy’s Life
by Devin Wallace. @thedevinwallace.
NEW YORK, NY - Sara Bareilles’ understudy in Waitress, Emily Davis, performed in her Broadway debut last Wednesday evening, causing all 859 audience members to begrudgingly sit through the happiest moment of Davis’ entire life.
“This is a dream come true,” Davis said while on the phone with her parents, who had no trouble hearing her over the apathetic shuffling of the dwindling crowd outside the theater. “I’ll remember this night forever, and I’m sure the audience will too,” said Davis, unaware the entire crowd already made more plans to salvage the rest of their nights.
Mark Lerman, who convinced his three teenagers to make the trip from Long Island with the promise of seeing Sara Bareilles, had differing thoughts.
“Once we heard some understudy was performing, we considered not even coming, but we were already on the road, so whatever,” said Lerman, who was part of the sold-out crowd preventing Davis’s family from getting tickets to her once-in-a-lifetime moment. “I suppose it’s nice to see any Broadway star, but was it really worth filling up my entire gas tank for? That’s twenty three bucks, come on.”
13-year old Abby Quinn was simply thankful she was able to sneak in her Nintendo Switch to the theater.
“The other lady was fine, I guess, but there’s no point putting it on my Snapchat story,” said Quinn as she ignored a real-life Broadway actress standing three feet away taking pictures and signing autographs at the stage door. “I spent all of the first act asking my Mom if we could leave, but then I unlocked the Ariana Grande skin in Fortnite, so I said whatever, I guess we could stay for the rest of it.”
Before leaving the theater, Davis recalled the words of wisdom her late grandmother gave to her.
“She said if I worked hard, one day I’d be on a stage in front of a loving and supportive crowd,” said Davis, referring to an audience who spent the entire 11 o’clock number googling “wine bars Manhattan.”