• Broadway Beat

Amazon Picks Up “What the Constitution Means To Me”, Edits Out That Pesky “Abuse of Power” Business

by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio.

NEW YORK, NY - Streaming giant Amazon Prime has official picked up a filmed production of Heidi Schreck’s acclaimed What the Constitution Means to Me, presenting the show as-is, except for all that pesky stuff in the constitution about people and organizations in power abusing that strength, Amazon confirmed.

“There’s just some ideas in there that would be better if people didn’t hear,” noted Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos while making sure warehouse employees don’t blink too often. “If people start hearing about how the founding fathers pushed to stop people in positions of power from abusing those positions, they might start to think about the very streaming service they’re watching the show on. And if that happens, we’ll have to go ahead and use our Alexas to spy on them and find materials to use for blackmail and I mean we don’t use Alexas to spy on people.”

More to come as this story develops.